Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
