dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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