ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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