Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's never too late to be topless.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
