I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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