i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
