Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
