You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
