We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
