do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
