his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So squirting runs in the family.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
