the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
