We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
