...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If I die, sorry about rent.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize