How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
