He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
