I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
