he puts the penis in happiness.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
