I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize