office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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