Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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