Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think people are normalizing furries
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
