Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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