I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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