i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
