GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There's always time for handjobs
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
