He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
