i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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