just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
