What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
