I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
