please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
