could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
