It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
