1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
