5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
