how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
