shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
high people should be assigned attendants
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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