Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
