i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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