Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
