Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A bitchslap is in order.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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