If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We don't watch enough power rangers
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Randomize
