Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We need a shit load of segways right now
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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