So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
