Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
