we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
