You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
