I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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