I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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