my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
