Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
