So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
