i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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