When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
