therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she peed on how many people?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Is it penis luge time yet?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm having to shit out rocks
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