im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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