I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
