ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
