break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize