they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
