OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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