Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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