Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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