i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
